Tropical Hash Trash #124
Hare: Impressive Hole Co-Hare/Host: Tiger General
Well it certainly seemed like a tropical day… not a cloud in sight as the hashers braved the beautiful weather to take part in the TROPICAL HASH in Ushiku. We met just outside Ushiku station with a slight confusion of hares. There was a nice PINK bunny rabbit that was almost snared before we even set out on trail.
We had a great turn out from our IH3 members as well as great support from Tokyo hashers and even SABER GAZER representing the tropical Okinawa H3. The pack set out on trail after loading up the car for GREASY OSHIRI who was just on time for IH3 time (meaning he was about 5 minutes late). We had 2 late-cummers who were in Ushiku but were apparently lost (See down-downs). IMPRESSIVE HOLE and TIGER GENERAL provided a mid-distance run from A to B to the feast that awaited us all at the GENERAL’S house.
There was some question as to why SLAMMIN’ BAMBI wasn’t present at the hash – especially since there was a delicious DEER BBQ provided by TIGER GENERAL. We were reassured by GREASY that the DEER was much more delicious and that our fearless GM was busy with official engagements. We were not deterred from enjoying the food, drink and merriment, however, and all hashers were very grateful for the wonderful hospitality provided by Tiger General and his family.
Some of the DOWN DOWN HIGHLIGHTS are as follows:
We had many first-timers to IH3 – No-Name Aki, No-Name Noriko, No-Name (forgot your name –gomenasai), SABER GAZER (OH3), and nihon-cha-cha-cha’s OTOSAN. We had yet another NAMING this month too… 3 months in a row! No-Name Travis was baptized by RAPUNZEL to be forever known as STAND BY MEAT. The hares drank down together, and I HAVE THE CLAP had to have some Ziggy-Zaggy’s for not listening to the Hare Down-downs. There was a FURRY CHIN CHIN and CHIN CHIN CHILLER down down for, well,… same(ish) names. RAPUNZEL and ICE HELMET had Santa Clause DOWN DOWNS. STAND BY MEAT had a Theme abuse down down for not looking TROPICAL (and stealing flowers from Ushiku Station). Not only late-cummers, but also DFL’s (even after IHole’s sweep) TAKE ME HOME and NIHON CHA-CHA-CHA had to drink. We were happy that THUNDER BALLS ARE GO could make it with his children, but he had a down down for not confirming his attendance and simply showing up ready to eat meat. He loves the BBQ’s!
In addition to the great weather, trail?, hospitality, campfire and beer, hashers also exchanged gifts from a tropical trip (Christmas present). Thanks to all for your generosity.
Rumour has it that there was another “ON AFTER” in the shadows of USHIKU station with IHole, C3, Dr.B, SBMeat, and SHJ. Perhaps too much beer was consumed as SBMeat and IHole missed their bus and had to grab a cab. (SBMeat, I won’t forget I owe you ¥500).
Thanks to all who made this hash so memorable. Also, thanks to all who supported IH3 this year. 2009 was a blast! Looking forward to seeing you all next year.
Next month, January – HARE: Ice Helmet
“ON ON!” to IBARAKI HHH!
By: Impressive Hole
And what a glorious hash it was. Save for all the worthless sunshine that decided to blare its unwanted rays upon our runners. Obviously, somebody didn’t tell the Religious Advisor that it’s cold and wet in Scotland this time of year. In fact, somebody forgot to tell him to even come. But no worries there, because at 12:15 Ibaraki time (that’s 1:15 for all you people with watches that work) our loyal and faithful Impressive Hole look alike came strutting through the gates at Midorino Stations. That’s right: Dekkaimono. (See down-downs)
The designated hares were No-Name-Lucy (now Chinchin Chiller),
No-Name-Jesse, and Ice Helmet. Of course Ice Helmet's idea of haring
is arriving several hours after the run starts. (Ok, he did have a
good excuse of spending a night (all two hours of it) in a car with
two girls. Unfortunately, one of them was throwing up). The run to the
Olympic grounds was a short A-to-B run of about 4 km, and it started
at the Banpaku-Kinen-Koen station. The people who actually ran the
trail were No-Name-Jesse (laying the trail half-an-hour before the
start time) and the main pack of four: Rapunzel, No-Name-Travis, 70%,
and Shy Guy, who set out with a beer in hand.
Fortunately, there was plenty to do before 1:00 Ibaraki time. Chin Chin Chiller and Formerly No Name Jesse (see down-downs for naming ceremony) had made not one! Not two! But three people cum. That’s right, there were virgins in attendance. And while the hashers went around in there pre-hashing ritual, which involved howling like crazed-wild monkeys, doing a jig, and playing hacky-sack. The virgins sat by in their little circle of protection, like we hashers were some kind of crazed animals. Fortunately, they weren’t against the hackey-sack ritual and one by one they came to join us. Finally they seemed to shed their last shred of shyness when Ice Helmet showed up with kilts.
Four members of the Ibaraki hash (Rapunzel, Ice Helmet, Formerly No Name Jesse (who even painted his face “Braveheart” style), and No Name Travis) got decked out in MAN skirts and letting their balls hang low as per the theme. IH3 hash was ready to commence… after about a thousand pictures and retakes. And finally, after a tearful mourning over a dropped bottle of Scotch. I think I might cry just thinking about it. Thanks for bringing it. And if we were better men we would have cut our tongues on that glass and licked that golden elixir off the ground.
So, in true Ibaraki fashion we got underway just after 1:00 Ibaraki time. And with an uproarious cheer they were off, some 15 runners in total.
At the beer stop, the hares commenced betting on who would be the FRB for the beer stop. Ice Helmet, Formerly No Name Jess, and No Name Milosh had good odds. But odds didn’t mean anything against Virgin No Name Nastya, who pulled up the front with all the other runners coming in no more then a minute behind her. And of course Ice Helmet, who came from the completely opposite direction… shortcutting? Maybe?
And after some delicious beer the run commenced once more.
At the final destination, the famed Midorino Station, Formerly No Name Jesse shortcut-ed his way into the FRB position. He blamed his knee for it, said it was acting up and he just wanted to finish quickly. But a lot of good it did anyone who finished the run early. Because No Name Travis had been left in charge of the finish while Rapunzel went for a bite to eat. And with his virgin hare instincts in full blossom, he made the runners stand around and wait, with no beer, clueless of how things are actually done. But everyone’s hero Rapunzel showed up just in time, before everyone got really thirsty and took control.
The down-downs were done in a small little kids park not far from Midorino Station. Ice Helmet took control of the circle as one of the senior most members of IH3, very few of the mismanagement showed during this run. Fortunately, though, the important people were there: Hash Snack Chu Chu and Beer Meister Greasy Oshiri. Let’s have a drink to them. And also, let’s not forget the Virgins: No Name Nastya, No Name Lena, and No Name Dima. All from Moscow. And the two who not only made them cum but supplied them with whistles: Chin Chin Chiller and Formerly No Name Jesse. Let’s drink to that.
For cup and whistle check, a few people were ousted, but none as bravely as No Name Milosh who said: “I don’t need no cup and whistle, I like drinking.” Thanks for keeping to the true spirit of hashing. And the Religious Advisor look-a-like Dekkaimono, who was voted for unanimously, with only her vote in disagreement. Let’s drink to that.
And after many ziggy-zaggys, too many to remember, Ice Helmet called for a short break in down-downs, during which time several members decided to play on the kiddie toys and No Name Travis even decided that climbing on top of them was a good idea. Do I hear a down-down in these peoples future?
Then, break over, the haphazard and glorious naming ceremony commenced. Trumpets could be heard blaring far and long into the night, and kings and queens alike were in attendance for this holy of holy occasions. And as the names dwindled to but two: One of them being Multi-Fuck-tional, for his ability at multi-tasking like a champ, and another name that referred to his studious PHD and his ability to clear a room with his flatulence… Formerly No Name Jesse was sworn into Hashing to be forever known as, or until someone less important than us IH3 members decided to rename him: Dr. Bombadeir.
See you next time kids.
ON!ON!
No Name Travis
Hash number #122 - Annual IH3 Hash Olympics - October 25th, 2009
On the course, we cut through temple grounds and then out to a field
laden with seeds that had an obnoxiously strong power of sticking to
your clothes. 70% decided to remove these seed on course; 20 minutes
later she was running again.
The course ended at Banpaku kinen park; however, our initial end point
was taken by a lonely high school trumpeter. While waiting for the
hashers to arrive, the hare No-Name-Jesse was accosted by a nice old
lady that insisted on cleaning all 1000 seeds off of him, and to show
that she wasn't going to take shit from hashers she gave us a bag of
tomatoes.
On on to the ha-lympi-sh games! Intimidating the peaceful park goers
with their wild yells, incredible strength, and unorthodox maneuvers,
the hashers/athletes competed in three categories of games: transfer
games (read: shoving stuff in your ass games and hip thrust games),
throwing games, and awkward running games. Team A consisted of
Slammin-Bambi, Shy Guy, and Ice Helmet. Team B was Rapunzel, Greasy
Oshiri, and No-name-Jesse. Team C was 70%, No-name-Travis, and
No-name-Lucy. Highlights of the games include reverse-bounce peanut
from No-name-Lucy; 70% cutting the obstacle course short and having to
run it all over again; and No-name-Travis carrying the little furry
balls in his ass ever so gingerly and depositing them in a nice little
pile exactly an inch off the target (see the pictures).
What's that? The games are almost over and here comes Impressive Hole!
(He did run the trail as witnessed by those seeds on his shoes.) Now
it's time for Impressive Hole to do all the games by himself. He
seems to have missed the idea of the hip-thrust-ball race because he's
more interested in having a 3-way with 70% and Ice Helmet.
Down-downs began with the awards ceremony. Team B coming in first
place was given plastic medals and drinks of choice. Team C coming in
second also gets some plastic and runner up beer that was not picked
up by the gold medalists. Team A... yeah, they get plastic too and
some stomach churning drinks.
Next, we get to the all-too-important task of naming No-Name-Lucy. Of
course, she's interrogated with the light in her face. Then told to
get the hell out of here. After ages of voting we narrowed it down to
two possible names: Chinchin Chiller and Three Girls Are Better. In
the end it goes to Chinchin Chiller.
Three cases of beer later, we sing the Hash Hymn.
By: No-Name-Jesse with some help from Chinchin Chiller
P.S.: Special thanks goes to Greasy Oshiri who drove the
bags/snacks/beer from point A to point B and Slammin’ Bamby and Pussy
Hunter who went directly to the point B to meet the hares to tell them
that Ice Helmet will not be showing up on time. And also to Chinchin
Chiller’s a bicycle, which was used by several hashers as a
transportation to the bathroom.
Things got started at Tsukuba Station today with a meeting spot for the car-ride to Mt. Tsukuba. One thing that was evident early on, and perhaps a sign of things to come, was the number of hashers to car seats in the cars. Shy Guy and Impressive hole had room in their cars for 12 people, but 15 were totaled. UH-OH! But in true hash form, people sucked up the comforts of seatbelt and safety, and decided to brave the car-ride squished into 2 cars.
We made it to the start point at just after 2:00pm… not bad for Ibaraki time. The hares, 70% and Second Hand Job, were well prepared in full-hiking gear – shoes, wet-wear, power-bars, bear-bombs, mosquito coils, glow-sticks (well maybe just shoes and wetwear) – and were recognized for it later. (see down-downs).
The climb was cool and refreshing the more we got into the clouds. The view from the top was, well, cloudy and poor visibility which was very thankful as Ice Helmet was doing his best Scotsman impression with the kilt he was wearing. The people living on Mt. Tsukuba were thankful the cloud cover was thick as they were not treated to the FULL MOON that was shining down from the look-out up top!
The decision was made to try down-downs in the parking lot, instead of up top, as some hashers were not prepared for the cooler weather atop the mountain. It was then decided to move back to Tsukuba to Just Jesse and Just Lucy’s place. It was then decided to move to Ninomiya park to finish up our down-downs. All hashers were patient and willing to finish what we started ---- the trail was really long today.
Down-downs included: 70% and SHJ for not giving warning of hiking gear needed, I HAVE THE CLAP for not announcing his intention to join (and still getting the front seat in the car both ways), our VIRGIN “Just Milosh” (sorry if I have the spelling wrong) was very enthusiastic and took his down-downs in fine form – one of which was for scaring the locals and disrespecting the mountain with his mid-trail pee-pee stop. BUGGER ME and DEKKIMONO (check spelling/names) were gracious with their snacks and bottle of wine and enjoyed a down-down for it. JUST JESSE and JUST LUCY both accepted down-downs for not sufficiently informing our virgin of proper IH3 etiquette of whistle and cup. (we hear there may have been an intentional sabotage) RAPUNZEL had a medicine down-down for an unexplained bandage – so did 70% (for not explaining the bandage). CORKSCREWED had a quite down-down, SHY GUY and IMPRESSIVE HOLE gave their down-downs away with kisses as they were the drivers. Thank’s guys! All in all, a successful trip up, down, and around Mt. Tsukuba this year.
Next Month: Run #122 – Hash Olympics. Hares: Ice Helmet, Just Jessie, Just Lucy
By: Impressive Hole
Hare: Rapunzel - Live Hare!
Thanks to everyone who came out to help celebrate IH3's birthday in style! We were glad to see a number of Ibaraki first-timers from Tokyo as well as a few hisashiburi faces. Ibaraki was out if full force, with two notable exceptions: Our beloved Snack Meister Chu Chu, who helped us transport hashers to the venue and set up, but then had to leave for a family commitment, and new Ibaraki-hasher Just Jesse who was, reportedly, at home nursing a hangover. Hmm....
We met at Tsukuba Station at 13:00, and two carloads of hashers were off to the start point in perfect Ibaraki-time. Two brave souls biked to the venue: Shy Guy from not so far, and Wrong Pussy, who also managed to make the trip up Mt. Tsukuba and back again before meeting us all at Tsukuba-Centre and then biking all the way to Yukari-no-Mori. The third carload was stuck waiting in the hot sun for perpetual late-cummer SHJ, but eventually we all made it to Yukari-no-mori, and the pack was off.
By all accounts, the trail was a good one, if rather vague and confusing in spots. Certainly not lacking in shiggy, the hare was even kind enough to throw in a beer stop - even though he was gone before the beer-car made it there. After the trail: beer and barbecue. I won't go on and on about it - I wouldn't want to make those of you who couldn't make it feel too bad. But, a special thanks goes out to Guru Guru and Wrong Pussy for their alcoholic (a bottle of red wine and a bottle of Mt. Fuji Whiskey) contributions.
Down-downs were, as always, entertaining. Some notable nominations: RA Impressive Hole was nominated because Saturday was his 6th wedding anniversary (Congratulations!); Yours truly, Slammin' Bambi, was nominated for sitting down during circle (sorry!!); The Bladder Blow was nominated by Just Lucy for messing up the name of her birth country, Kyrgyzstan (I hope!!).
Circle closed with the usual announcements, including a reminder of the upcumming deadline for Japan Nash Hash registration, the sale of tickets for The American Embassy's Annual Friendship Day Party, and a call for a hare for next month's IH3 run. Hope to see you all there.
Hare: Ice Helmet - Live Hare!
We dis-organized ourselves at Kenkyu Gakuen Station at our regular summer hour start - sometime before 3:00 and after 2:00 (Ibaraki time). The pack arrived just before the hare, as he was finishing some scouting for a rare completely "LIVE HARE". Ice Helmet was only partially dirty and a little sweaty as he got set to start the Rainy Day Hash.
We were joined today by the usual Ibaraki suspects, a few from Tokyo and some VIRGINS to both Japan and Ibaraki Hash. "Just Jesse" and "Just Lucy" arrived with no help from our hare! (He had forgotten to mark from the station - Down, Downs received). We learned that they had just only arrived in Japan not 48 hours earlier - showing great Hash colours already!
Comments about the trail included, too many "boobie" checks, not enough rain, some well placed beer stops (albeit rather misplaced beer!!), mystery chalk marks, drunken teenagers, and not enough shiggy. The pack returned safe and sound - Some cleaner than others (see down downs).
The circle was spirited with hot debate about the absence of beer stops, beer - or - not-beer, singing offenses and trail violations. ICE HELMET took his down-downs like a true hare, long and plenty. (Pretty sure he was sleeping in the car on the way home.) "Just Jesse" was called on a very confusing hand-raising and looking too sexy with no shirt. CHU CHU and GREASY did their usual splendid jobs with snacks and beverages - we had a variety of hot pasta and Master Brew. Bladder Blow, sorry THE BLADDER BLOW was back in true form, messing up songs and singing off key. "Just Lucy" made new friends with the KAZAK Shy Guy - with talk of the old land and Fermented Horses Milk. IMPRESSIVE HOLE had double down-downs for terrible weather (rain - not doing his RA job for hash weather) and for perfect weather (rain - doing his job for the hash theme).
Notable announcements included information about Friendship day - a VERY thorough explanation by THE Bladder Blow, Japan Nash Hash 09 to be held in October in Nikko, and the Ibaraki HHH 10th Anniversary Hash next month on July 26th in Tsukuba.
See you all next month!
Today's trail was pre-laid by yours truly. Considering it's been at least a couple of years since the last time I laid an actual train, I think it was pretty good. There were plenty of confusing check points, vicious dogs, ups and downs, and foot-sucking mud. The trail also provided plenty of opportunity to play (with several playgrounds on the route), although there's some rumour that one hasher who shall remain nameless (at least for a couple more months) may have taking the whole playing/feel-good theme a little too far at one point...
Last month's virgin, Travis, subjected himself to our bantering again. This time he actually ran, so I suppose his figurative cherry has now been popped. And hisashiburi Shy Guy finally made it out to join us. Other members included Second Hand Job, Greasy Oshiri, Chu Chu, and Rapunzel.
I have to say, though, that when it came to the theme of feeling good, we Ibaraki hashers are a pretty damn sorry lot. Kudos for best feel-good items go to Chu Chu for her psychadelic Stones t-shirt. And a wanker shout-out to Rapunzel whose feel-good item was his hash wear. Hm....
Only a few special announcements:
-Crusader & Jelly Mouth's wedding run is Sunday May 31st.
-July will mark Ibaraki's 10th anniversary run. If anyone has any ideas or would like to hare, please let me know.
-The 'keener' (Early-bird) registration deadline for this year's All Japan Nash Hash in Nikko is Monday June 1st. Please register and pay by June 1st to qualify for the keener discount
Today's hare was Impressive Hole, who was joined at the last minute by Ice Helmet. We had a bit of a slow start, even by Ibaraki standards, with the main pack away around 14:30, and late-cummer Chu Chu and Sweep Ice Helmet away a little after 15:00. Yours truly hung around to watch the bags (and eat the snacks).
We were joined by hisashiburi hasher Whack on Whack off and Virgin hasher Travis, who made it for the down-downs, but not the trail (at least he's got his priorities straight). By all reports, the trail was full of shiggy, but untraditionally marked with footprints rather than flour (although there was some disagreement about that...).
Hash Snack Chu Chu and Beer Meister Greasy Oshiri did their usual terrific job of providing sustenance...and food. And Impressive Hole did an impressive job with the weather, although there were some complaints: not enough wind, too much sun, and not enough rain, among others....
The only other event of note was our second naming in as many months. Our IH3 hash hound Gizmo had his 5th run today, and was given his hash name: Pussy Hunter. I won't go into the gory details of how we decided on that name. Suffice it to say that he can be rather affectionate with his sister Musa, who is a cat.
Next month's hash is on May 17th. We scheduled it to avoid Crusader & Jelly Mouth's wedding run on May 31st, and 70%'s fundraiser on May 24th. Hope to see you there on the 17th, and at C and JM run on the 31st!
Other important announcements included Ibaraki's new domain name: ibarakih3.net, and the opening of the 2009 All Japan Nash Hash web site (which can be found here). This year's nash hash is being disorganized and mismanaged by FISHHH (Finally Friday Fukov, Ibaraki, and Sumo H3). It will be held in Nikko, Tochigi from Saturday October 10th to Monday October 12th. Hope to wee you there!
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